Week 14 : Cruel Runnings?

So we had an assignment for the weekly blog…. watch one movie out of a list of six given, relate and link it to the course, and write about it.

Haha, that became a challenge and mountain and Heroes Journey in itself, and of course, BC 😉 , again it was an example of how gloriously ingeniously the mind (life) operates to give you exactly what you need, and at exactly the right time.

It took me almost one and a half week to finally have access to ONE of the movies that where selected, and yes, the one and only that I could watch, was exactly the one I needed to see….. from the first minute not only where all the links to the course as clear as could be — the whole movie is oozing them out , to the point of me suspecting it was made specifically for that aim, so many years ago 🙂 ….– but on top of that, it actually told me about my own story of a few weeks ago, my own rollercoaster that I lived then and had not yet completely understood nor ‘digested’, only dressed in a very different ‘outer manifestation’. (I refer here also to my mini-mastermind-partner’s blog ….)

So yes, for me: Cool Runnings it was, the Jamaican Bobsled-rollercoaster, how more clear do you want a rollercoaster-experience to be visualized and cut out for you…

I’m not going to spell everything I saw in it out into detail, I might be still writing this blog for a whole week or so, but here’s a bunch of ingredients anyway…

burning desire (not only of the main character, but of all 4 of them in their own way and for their own reasons, no 5, including their coach) — combined! in perfect HARMONY (and/or well, towards more and more harmony, ‘as one’) ,  definite purpose(s), PERSISTENCE, working on in despair, challenges and tests (it has Og Mandino’s scroll written all over it), plan of action, positive attitude(s), linking stuff that appears (because their mind was open to see it –hey, access to infinite intelligence!) to those purposes, masterminding amongst them, practice-practice-practice, never ever give up on your dream, every day is new opportunity to be the best day, showing and cultivating self-confidence, BELIEVING they would get what they wanted, in spite of devastating opinions from outside, ‘living their future in the now’ (actually kind of bobsledding ON Jamaica to start with) and some other techniques: the guy in the glass, a kind of dreamboard-as-in-picture-of-a-palace “All he has to do is know what he wants and work hard for it. And if he works hard enough, he will get it”, GIVING al they have — each in their own way, ‘ask and ye shall receive’, develop and become aware of their POWER, respect, seeing the potential in others, INTEGRITY, surrendering and sacrifice their egos, observing others that are successful in their ‘business’ (hey, Og again…), RELAX, HAVE FUN… and there where all those little miracles showing up thanks to their determination … staying TRUE to themselves, be authentic, copying others nearly made them fail all together…..

So, how did all this relate to my own story?

Like them, I was on a crusade to the manifestation of a dream, like them I did everything I needed and possibly could, I gave it it ALL, and exactly like them, I had 4 major tests to pass on the way to success (they had to first pass the eliminatory test, and then had 2 runs before the final one), and just like them, I passed the first brilliantly, crushed during the second, rose to the absolute top of my mountain during the 3d, and the 4th, well….. just like them: I succeeded, actually with success, but not quite the way I planned nor visualized it, not quite as brilliantly, and that gave me actually a feeling of having failed and I almost gave up on everything afterwards — including the MasterKey, and for a brief second even ‘me’ — because of that. And I had a hard time digesting and trying to figure out what this then was all about — yes, achieving vs. accomplishing….. I DID manifest my dream… as a FIRST and actually HUGE STEP of and towards what my Definite Purpose is, and everything I learned and all the skills I developed on my way, are now part of me, as well as all the wonderful and even magical moments I lived with the other people involved…..yessssssss.

But why the bitter aftertaste then? Why did it feel more like ‘Cruel Runnings’ in stead of ‘Cool Runnings’?

It is dawning….. one passage that got ‘stuck’ in my memory is the question ‘Am I enough?’ ‘If you are not enough without the medals, you will not be enough with them.’  — why want the (symbolic) medal? Isn’t that medal just an opinion of the outer world? And even if my initial answer to that was ‘yeah, but the outer world gave me the approval and recognition I wanted, so that’s not the problem, I wanted the approval of and recognition for myself….. and that, I failed.’ (subtitle required here: only a few minor things went ‘wrong’, dear Miss Red-Penciled-Perfectionist 😉 )

OK then: but isn’t THAT kind of approval and recognition not just an internal mirror of the outside….? Do you really still think that you have no right to exist if you are not absolutely completely perfect…..ly adapted to what seems to be and is displayed as the ‘standard of success’ .….?

Cool.

Oh, and talk about authenticity: am I in my quest not still following or molding myself in (some) behaviors that actually are not ‘me’, even if only in a very small degree….? Actually, the fear of not being/behaving like the ones that have the kind of success I would like to have in my ‘business’ and (still….) trying to adapt is what made me ‘fail’. .

Aha.

Oh another theme that struck me (and that by coincidence was made aware just the day before I finally stumbled on this movie, by my guide and then by a blog I read) is related to the 4 colors of personality: red, blue, yellow and white. And in a conversation with another fellow-‘student’ thanks to his blog that co-incidentally was also talking about this, it came up that all 4 of those mains characters are of course part of every one of them, and that we can choose which one is in ‘our’ driver-seat according to what is needed.

And then next thing I saw Cool Runnings: to me those 4 characters all represent one of the colors, and they had to find a way to co-operate harmoniously in 1 sled, using all their specific traits (yes, also perfectionism.. 😉 …. but relaxed and with FUN! 🙂 ) for the better interest of the whole, all heads in the same direction as if they where one….

Such a beautiful metaphor.

So here I go, RainbowColoredBobsled on the rollercoaster of life. Enjoying every bit of it. Sliding with grace and Burning Desire over the sometimes slippery ice of my own old creations….;) ….

Cool Runnings, Peace be the Journey.