Week 12: ….. aha ….

WHAT a week that has been…. up-down-up-down …. 8 …

Ame Soeur

AmeSoeur, metallic pastell G. van Assche

I have lived through SO much, discovered and uncovered, bumped into, nailed and failed, laughed my heart to pieces and cried my heart out, trembled for tremendous fear and tremendous thrill and bliss, had incredible fun and incredible heartache, went all the way down and more than I knew was possible up, down again into other depths, and up again to the top of yet another high, couldn’t sleep because of panic and tremendous worry, and couldn’t sleep because of tremendous bliss and joy and sense of the most profound accomplishment I ever had, was able to surrender to my highest self one day, and wasn’t the next day, and the next day managed to just let it all go again, found my power and could apply it and got paralized by fear the next day, was almost choked by panic one moment and found immense liberty of (creative) expression the next, managed to sacrifice my ego one day, and got sacrificed by and to my ego the next, and back, felt connected to all and everyone and felt completely isolated and cut off, felt my most glorious possible way of ‘being me’ and for a split second thought about making an end to it,

Bas les Masques!

Bas les Masques! metallic pastel G. van Assche

persisted doing all the readings and exercises in despair and managed to also persisted during the highest joy, stayed faithful to the MKMMA and wanted to throw it all out of the window at one point — but luckily didn’t — had fantastic insights and equally ‘fantastic’ incomprehension, felt more ‘me’ than ever before and ‘not like me AT ALL’, loved to a point where I thought my heart was going to explode and hated myself to an extend I didn’t know I was still capable of.

In short: what a glorious week, especially for someone who wrote in her DMP that ‘being passionate about my deep, intuitive and EVER EXPANDING insight in the human soul, mind and body (…..) fills me with a deep sense of joyful accomplishment’ ….. be careful what you wish for … 😀 ….

…..And yes, the joyful accomplishment won, also in regard to most of the other goals in my DMP that got all ‘touched’ more or less specifically this week — and even two of the events mentioned in my Press Release …. yes, HAVE BEEN MATERIALIZED 🙂 …

And oh, for a girl that wants to end up living in the mountains: who needs mountains outside when you have the ‘Himalaya-in-square’ inside your soul to travel through….. or oh, since I live in them inside very consciously, I will soon live in them outside….. yeeha… 😀 (oh, but note to Self: ‘hmm well, the Pyrenees will do, thank you very much… 🙂 ‘ )

So What?

AmeSoeur, metallic pastell G. van Assche

One thing troubled me though, couldn’t get the mechanism behind the ‘one day I succeed, and the next I don’t, and back and forth, why can’t I get a grip on that? WHAT is this about? And WHY?’….

Good thing I stumbled on MarkJ’s video about the retreat today, just before starting my blog: keyword: ‘detachment’…..

When I look back: the times I succeeded, I somehow ‘instinctively’ had managed to detach from the outcome, and the times I ‘failed’, I was actually fearfully attached to a specific outcome…..

Aha…….

 

 

 

 

 

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16 thoughts on “Week 12: ….. aha ….

  1. Mani

    OMG… I felt exhausted just reading about your week never mind living it!! You’re really in the thick of it sista… how exciting… how terrifying… hang on I know it will get calmer. I can totally identify with feeling so much expansion and then… crash… sending you love and strength to keep on keeping on 🙂

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  2. masterkeymartin

    Ha.ha, and I thought I was up and down, now I understand your comment on my blog. I was on the baby roller coaster, while you went all out on the monster of monster roller coasters. Nail all those blind spots, and come back for more. See you next week. same time, same place.

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  3. LucLuc Griffet

    When reading your week description, I had immediately the image of a rollercoaster! In any attraction park, there are two kinds of people with respect to rollercoasters: those who don’t like them and try to avoid them, and those who love the sensation and look for the one which will give them the strongest sensations! This week, you were obviously on one of these, so I hope you belong to the second category! Congratulations for your GREAT accomplishement this week, you will now have to update your Press Release 🙂

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    1. dominica8 Post author

      well yes, kind of like the thrill…. luckily 😀 …. many years ago I had a dream about being in a river with strong current, and I knew that I could just very easily and effortlessly let me be taken by the stream (of life) and ‘have it all, very simply’ by doing so. But: I chose to swim upward, against the stream, because I thought it was more fun and invigorating, and strengthening to do so, I wanted to experience every wave and current consciously because I wanted to feel even more ‘alive’. I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing ….. 😀 … But tell me: ‘update my press-release’: those events are already in, no? What do I have to change?

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