Week 2: a bridge too far no longer.

…. and suddenly I’m an architect.

Building bridges, multiple bridges.

Or maybe it’s all the same, one bridge, that seemed ‘ a bridge too far’ for, well, a long-long time, ever since I started believing that I was ‘just’ a ‘foolish’ dreamer with too much imagination.

Or at least, part of me started to agree with this judgement. Part of me always kept this state of mind, much to my bliss as I discovered bit by bit in my life. I seemed to be ‘lucky’ ever so often, blessed with completely ‘impossible’ events that occurred. Now I understand that it was that part that kept on dreaming and believing ‘in spite of’ that created those events.
The part that started to identify with the ‘just a foolish dreamer’ seemed on the other hand to do it’s best to sabotage the possibilities that occurred over and over again, to prove ‘it being right’.

Building a bridge in between those parts now. A bridge form conscious to unconscious.

And again, ‘as within so without’, suddenly I see the parallel, the metaphor of me first having to build bridges between my mind and……well, technology, the web.

Now THAT has seemed a bridge REALLY too far for ever since I (was forced to) start using a computer and get on the internet.
Although not really being stupid, to say the least (haha 🙂 ), my mind just goes ‘freaking blank’ in front of it and I would rather run in the other direction 200 miles per hour.Somehow I mastered more or less the little skills that I have and that are just about sufficient to function in this ‘world’ almost ‘in spite of myself’, but pleazzze! don’t ask more of me!!

Well then, getting into MasterMind.

Mission: learn to understand and master my Mind and to learn to use it properly to change what needs to be changed in my life.
Great. I’m ALL for, and committed to the bone.
But woooopppsssssss! ‘Get Twitter! (burksss!) Get a blog-site! (eh, what….?) Write a blog (djeeeeezesss…) Get connected to those Webinars (catastrophe!) Having problems there? Get another browser! (freeezzzzeeee!!!!) ….
Panic, sheer panic over and over again and a completely unwilling brain to start with.

ME and COMPUTERS and INTERNET (well more than email and the good ol’Facebook)???

MANY BRIDGES TOO FAR.

Was about to quit a few times the whole MasterMind experience just because of that. (WHAT a stupid shame that would be.)
But luckily, just in time, I figured out the ‘red alarm’: ‘this is just me having resistance to change and finally make that big leap and all those realizations I have always dreamed about!!’
‘Well yes, you are a foolish dreamer after all. Will not happen. Not possible. Can’t. Bridge too far. Forget it. It’s only for others. Not for you. You do not deserve it, you foolish dreamer’.

But wait a minute, hold on, that’s exactly why I got into this……!

So, reluctantly at first and struggling for hours on certain stuff (MasterMind takes only 1 hour a day? NO WAY 😀 😀 ) but: can’t believe that I DID manage it all (or you would not be reading this, obviously 🙂 ) …. because the price not to was just too big. Suddenly I was and am DETERMINED to get into it and get it done, and get it done NOW!

And so today, it struck me: the metaphor, the parallel:

that internet, that computer containing those zillions of thingies and possibilities and even more links to create in between, is actually as dumb as a brick, it only does what I tell it to do and more so: only understands very simple and clear instructions, or it will go completely bazurk and start playing tricks on you.
Wait yet another minute….. sounds like the subconscious, no?
So, there i go: building a bridge too far no longer between my well, slightly scattered 😉 conscious brain and that confused subconscious of mine, learning how to program and use both of them.

So I WILL be able to build the bridge to my dreams.

And bonus: I now am also building a bridge too far no longer towards you all 🙂 .
Hello, nice meeting you!

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One thought on “Week 2: a bridge too far no longer.

  1. Pingback: Week 4 : The Girl with the GoldenRainbowMarbles - hearzmasterkey

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